Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I'm Still Here...

I fully understand that I have an old soul. I am convinced I should have been born in the 50’s. The sixties and the seventies should have been the decade I grew up in. That having been said I was born in the eighties. Everywhere I go lately has made me feel like I’m sixty. Let me explain. First, the mall. The Danbury Fair Mall is going through a massive overhaul and renovation which, when complete, is supposed to make the mall more “upscale”. I don’t disagree that the mall needs serious renovation. Its what is slowly creeping into the mall that makes me feel old. They are slowly filling the mall with “hip” stores (just using the word hip has made me old) to appeal to the younger generation of consumers. On such store is Hollister. I didn’t know what a “Hollister” was. Basically it is Abercrombie and Fitch for surfers. I walked into the store the other day with my sister so she could spend a gift certificate she had received. The first “old” moment I had was saying out loud “wow, this music is REALLY loud” referring to the grunge or punk music blasting over the loudspeaker. It was very intense. So intense that when she went to the register to purchase a shirt we could not hear the employee and she had to repeat what she said a couple of times. I understand that complaining about loud music makes me old and I’m fine with that, but when the music discourages customers from coming there ever again, I think there is a problem.

My second old person moment in Hollister occurred when we first got to the store. As we walked in there was a girl standing at the door, who I assumed worked there ( I wasn’t sure because by the way she was dressed she blended into everyone in the store) who said to me in an almost comical valley girl accent “check out our shorts, they’re great”. I’m sorry, but if I’m going into a store I do not want to be told what to look at. Please don’t have employees tell me what I should look at. I do not wear shorts ever. Never have and never will. So Hollister’s employee has just wasted her time. Is that what Hollister is paying employees for, wasted time? If so, someone needs to inform corporate.

My last old person complain about Hollister is the lighting. It is VERY dark in there. The lights are down very low which in turn caused me to bump into someone while in an aisle. I completely understand why Hollister does this. The clothes they sell are so ugly that if you saw them under the light you may not buy them. This might explain their no return policy (they actually do accept returns).

Another recent incident that has made me feel really old involves reminiscing. At rehearsal last night I was surrounded by a group of people of various ages. Most of them younger than me. I don’t remember the context, but I made a reference to the push me-pull you (a fictional animal from the Rex Harrison version of Doctor Dolittle). Not many people understood the reference, which was okay. My old moment came after I was asked what that was a reference to. I said “Doctor Dolittle” and one of the guys that was younger than me said “I don’t remember that, Eddie Murphy was hilarious though”. Right then I knew I had officially become old. He was correct in that there is no push me-pull you in the three Eddie Murphy remakes of the film. The animal appeared in the 1967 musical version starring Rex Harrison. I could not believe what I was hearing. The Eddie Murphy “Dr. Dolittle” is all he knew. I had to explain to him that those were not the first versions of Dr. Dolittle.
You begin to feel very old when you know the origins of something purely because you either grew up with it or it happened in your lifetime. Can you even imagine our grandchildren asking us about Britney Spears fifty years from now? *disclaimer*I don’t enjoy her music or her lifestyle*disclamer* She is our generation’s Ella Fitzgerald. Justin Timberlake will be remembered in the same vein as Frank Sinatra. How weird is this – if people now listen to rap music. That means that fifty years from now old people will listen to rap music. People listen to music of their generation. Remember how your grandparents listened to big band music or the rat pack because that’s what they grew up with? Fifty years from now grandparents will listen to Eminem and Fifty Cent. Looking at it that way and putting it into context of today when I’m old (since I currently listen to music from the 60’s and 70’s) my music would be like, today listening to music from the civil war era. I’m going to be the least hip grandpa ever.

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