I don't have a Broadway lyric for this title...

My last few posts have been on the serious side, so I decided there needed to be a change. I have come to ask myself a simple question recently – what has happened to television? I’m not sure, but what I am sure of is that it is making us dumber. With a lack of new ideas and an abundance of “reality” shows now on television the world is slowly becoming dumber. This is directly reflected in its programming. Lets first talk about “reality” shows. I put reality shows in quotation marks because they are in no way reality. No one acts like people on those reality shows, they just don’t. If you look at the credits these “reality’ shows have writers and script coordinators. Last time I checked “reality” isn’t scripted. If it is, I want a new scriptwriter. The two “reality” shows that really make me angry are NBC’s “The Biggest Loser” and ABC’s “Fat March” (yes that really is the title). The reason these two get me angry is because they bill themselves as trying to help overweight people, but they are just exploiting them. Before even watching the show you can tell something isn’t right just by the titles. Both titles mock the contestants. On “The Biggest Loser” contestant work with trainers and compete in competitions to lose the most weight. Thus gaining the title “the biggest loser”. I understand the title refers to the people losing weight. These TV executives new what they were doing when they named it that. Even if these poor people win, they are still crowned with the name “the biggest loser”. Last time I checked that was a name usually given to the head of a high school chess team or the leader of the national dungeons and dragons association. Nevertheless the name is derogatory. I’ve never brought myself to watch “Fat March” but I can only imagine what that winner is crowned, maybe “the fattest marcher”? I’m not sure. From what I understand it is a show where a bunch of overweight people walk from Boston to Washington D.C. in order to lose weight. I’m still not convinced that is the best title for the show. Can you imagine the pitch meeting for the title?

Executive #1:Well…um…so far we’ve narrowed it down to…heavy hustle, overweight hike, chubby run, large walk, chunky skip and fat march

Executive # 2: Hmm…those sound great. We just have to pick the one that will be least offensive to overweight people and still target our demographic”

Executive #1: How about ‘Heavy Hustle’?

Executive #2: No that implies that they are dancing. Will they dance?

Executive #1: No, they’ll just march.

Executive #2: Well…let’s go with ‘Fat March’ then. I see nothing wrong with that title.

Executive #1: Neither do I sir.

Okay, reality shows get me crazy so I’m going to shift gears. How about the new TV season? It is September, so now is the time when they bring out all of the terrible television programs that will probably be gone by January. Let’s start with the worst Idea in television – ever, a little show called “Cavemen”. A television show based on the cavemen from the Geico Insurance commercials. Who thinks this is a good idea? There actually had to be someone who looked at those stupid commercials and said,“ hey, I bet a half hour of that would be hilarious”. That person needs to be fired. Its not funny for twenty seconds, what makes anyone in they’re right mind think it will be funny for thirty minutes. This season the classic game show “The Price is Right” is getting a new host after Bob Barker, host for close to 40 years, retired. The new host – Drew Carey. Alright, I’m not a huge fan of him, but he’s funny – at times. What I find funny is that he injured himself the first day on the job. Okay, I don’t usually laugh at other people’s pain (sometimes), but he caught his arm in one of the games as it spun around. Bob barker hosted the show for forty years, not one injury. This guy has the job for less than an hour and ends up in the hospital. I find it amusing. What else? The View has a new co-host. You’re probably thinking the same thing as me; The View is still on? Hugh Jackman and Melanie Griffith have a new Drama debuting on CBS. There is good news and bad news about this show. The good news is that it is a musical and Hugh Jackman will be singing. The bad news is that it is a musical and Melanie Griffith will be singing, too. Fox is trying it’s hand at producing something good that isn’t ‘Family Guy’ with ‘Back to You’. It’s a newsroom comedy starring Kelsey Grammar and Patricia Heaton. Heaton will star as a news anchorwoman and Grammar will start as Frasier (the only character he knows how to play). Pee Wee Herman (Paul Reubens) will return to TV in ABC’s ‘Pushing Daisies’. The premise of this show being a man can touch dead people and bring them back to life. A commercial for the show says that the man touches murder victims, brings them back to life for a few minutes, finds out who killed them and collects the rewards for turning those people in. That is a terrible premise. If this guy has the ability to bring people back to life why doesn’t he just let them live? Rather than kill them again and gain money by exploiting their death. Get this – it’s a comedy. I don’t understand television. It really is the reason American’s are stupid.

Any Dream Will Do?

My Life is slowly becoming a full-fledged musical. I’ve already owned up to the fact that I am Bobby from Company. I’m also aware I think a lot like the Baker’s Wife from Into the Woods (do I see a Sondheim theme here?). What happened to me this weekend really kind of scared me into thinking that any day my life could complete turn into a musical, with people bursting into song all around me. When that happens it will be either the best day of my life or the day I check into Bellevue. To paraphrase The Drowsy Chaperone “Anyone who breaks out into song in real life is just hopelessly deranged”. That was a long opening paragraph to get what I really wanted to talk about my own “dream ballet”. As you probably know I’m not a fan of the “dream ballet” that occurs in Oklahoma. Well after seeing it three time in the past two weeks it apparently have taken over my subconscious.

***Let me preface this explanation of my own “dream ballet” by saying that the names of the people in the dream have been changed to protect the innocent ( and because the two people who read my blog know one if not both of the people in the dream) ***

So went away this weekend and like I always do on long trips I fell a sleep. Luckily I don’t drive because that could have spelled disaster for those in the car. Now this is the first of what I can only assume will be the recurring “marriage dreams”. I’ve had all the regular dreams. I don’t know if this makes any sense, but work with me. “Marriage dreams” are dreams in which your fears about marriage or relationship become very clear. Its ridiculous really because I’m not in a relationship nor am I getting married any time soon. Up until this point I haven’t had any as vivid as this one. Anyway this marriage dream falls directly into the “dream ballet” category because it mirrored the dream that Laurey has in Oklahoma. I’m not sure if it actually did but, it reminded me a great deal of it anyway. So here it is:

I’m was standing at an alter and down the aisle walks my bride. I think to myself “wow, she’s beautiful even more beautiful than I ever remember”. She gets to me and I remove her veil which has been hiding her face this entire time. I look at her and she is Jane 1 ( I’ll number them to make it easier). Jane 1 is an attractive friend of mine who I have never had an interest in marrying and never will (no offense to her). I realize it is her and start to freak out and start telling everyone in the church that there has been a mistake. I begin to run out of the church when two people who I would never invite to my wedding (they are just acquaintances) tackle me and tell me I have to marry Jane 1. They drag me back to the alter and I tell Jane 1 I can’t marry her. She doesn’t understand why and tells the priest to start. He begins to marry us and I find that I cannot move. I am stuck there. She says, “oh, well”. Finally at the top of my lungs I yell, “ I can’t marry you. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t spend my life with you. I would much rather marry (as I scan the crowd I see Jane 2) Jane 2!”. Jane 2 stands up and runs over to me. I explain that although Jane 1 is attractive and all I can’t marry Jane 1. I don’t recall the reasons I gave her I just know I convince her and the guests at the wedding I should marry Jane 2. The crowd seems stunned and all of the sudden a lynch mob, straight out of ‘Frankenstein’, begins to attack Jane 2 running her out of the church, pitchforks and all. That was the point when I woke up.

I don’t think I have ever remembered a dream so vividly in my entire life. I’m not into the whole “what does your dream mean?” thing, but after that I’m curious. I wonder if there is any strange lessons that should be learned from it (other than to remind my wedding guest to leave pitchforks at home). I just feel there had to be some reason why the dream was so vivid and why I remembered it so vividly. I don’t know what it is. If either of you (yes the two who read my blog) want to try to interpret it please do so. I’m looking for any insight. Its been bothering me for the past couple of days. Anyway…just thought I’d get that out of my system. I don’t understand it and hopefully soon I will. Hopefully I won’t be having any more dreams like that any time soon.

Into the woods I have to go.....

I’ve had an interesting couple of weeks. I’ve ended my four-month Richter marathon when ‘On The Twentieth Century’ closed a couple of weeks ago. My class is almost over which means out into the world I will go. I have to begin the job hunt. Fun. I came to realize this is my last “summer”. While the actual season will not go away the meaning of it will. Summer was always the time before going back to school. Well, no more of that for me. In a few weeks I will hold my membership card to the world – a diploma. It means I’m a functioning person in society. I can’t use the “I’m a student” excuse anymore. Seeing as this is my last “summer” I decided to reflect on what has taken place this summer. I came to one conclusion – I wouldn’t trade it for the world. As much as I complained and hemmed and hawed (yes I said hawed – I am 72!) about doing two musicals back to back and all the rehearsal time I spent at Richter. I loved every minute of it. The people involved in my life this summer and the moments.

I say moments not referring to every single second that passed by, but the times this summer that really impacted my life in good ways and in bad. I am reminded of a song in Into The Woods with the following lyrics:

Just a moment,
One peculiar passing moment...
Must it all be either less or more,
Either plain or grand?
Is it always "or"?
Is it never "and"?
That's what woods are for:
For those moments in the woods...

Oh. if life were made of moments,
Even now and then a bad one-!
But if life were only moments,
Then you'd never know you had one.

It got me thinking about “moments” I’ve had this summer and how I tried to categorize them much like the Baker’s wife does in this song. Who defines what our moments are? Society seems to dictate what our “moments” should be. Shouldn’t we be the ones to decide? “must it either be less or more? / either planned or grand? / is it always or? / is it never and?”. Our moments need to fit a certain category not only in society, but with our own expectations. Personally, this summer, I don’t feel like I have lived up to what my mind tells me these moments should be. I don’t know if I’m making any sense but I need to vent. Is there no in between for certain moments? Is it always less or more than we expected? Why can’t it be just what we expected? Why do we always get choices with moments. And why do I always seem to make the wrong choice when it comes to moments.

The Baker’s wife sings “if life were only moments / then you’d never know you had one”. This addresses that time in between. The time you have to reflect on those moments and realize that you’ve done something horribly wrong or something fantastically right. That time is the “conscience”. Moments come sporadically and without planning, all you can do is let them happen. The look back and criticize. I find myself criticizing more and more what I shouldn’t be criticizing. I just don’t understand it. Why can’t I just let my moments be moments and not analyze them to death?

The song ends with the Baker’s wife singing:

Let the moment go...
Don't forget it for a moment, though.
Just remembering you've had and "and",
When you're back to "or",
Makes the "or" mean more
Than it did before.
Now I understand-

And it's time to leave the woods.

The Baker’s wife realizes that no matter how much we scrutinize our moments, they are just that – moments. They help define who you are, but they are just a small portion of who you are, they are not life changing events. Is that really true? Moments can drastically affect a life. If the Baker’s wife told the Baker about kissing the prince, what would have happened? Would he have left her? There have a been a ton of moments this summer that I have reflected on recently and wondered “what if?”, but then I realize that would only get me crazy if I focused on that. I have come to the realization there is a reason I act the way I do. There is a reason the moments I have had this summer turned out the way they did. What that reason is, is still unclear to me. When I figure it out I will let you know. I understand if this entry is a little cryptic, but honestly it makes sense, I promise.

Is Nothing Sacred?

Alvin and the Chipmunks Circa 1980's


Alvin and the Chipmunks Circa 2007


Underdog Circa 1960's


Underdog Circa 2007


Betty & Veronica Circa 1950's



Betty & Veronica Circa 2007

This is a sad commentary on the entertainment business when these cultural icons can't be left alone.

Run and Tell That...

I just got back from seeing ‘Hairspray’ and am very upset. Hollywood ruined what could have been a great movie musical. They cut all of the humor out and just made the movie weird and awkward. The re-wrote all of the good stuff from the stage show out of it. The completely changed the meaning of “Without Love”. The song is supposed to be the two girls being rescued by their true loves. Here it was reduced to an untalented High School Musical Alumnus singing to a freaking picture, which sung back! I don’t know what scared me more John Travolta’s prosthetic face or Michelle Pffiefer’s regular face. She’s been nipped and tucked so many times she has lost the ability to have emotions. There is a great line in the movie (one of the few) in which Christopher Walken makes a plastic surgery joke to Pffiefer. I’m sure that was very intentional on the part of the writers. The director of this movie obviously doesn’t know how to do “camp”. He attempted to make it “real”, which the show is not. I’m not exactly sure what country Travolta’s Edna was supposed to be from, but I don’t think it was America. His accent was atrocious. Hollywood basically cut Penny Pingleton ( my favorite character) down to what seemed to be a total of ten spoken lines and a few reaction shots. She is the funniest part about ‘Hairspray’ and I was sure Amanda Bynes would have been hilarious if given good material. She unfortunately was not.

As Much as I disliked the movie there were a few saving graces to it. First, Allison Janney as Prudy Pingleton. I didn’t think anyone could top the amazing Jackie Hoffman, but she was as funny, if not funnier. As Penny’s racist and very religious mother. The other saving grace was some of the cameos in the movie. John Waters as “the flasher who lives next door” made me smile. I was happy to see the original acknowledged. Another wink to the original was Ricki Lake ( the original Tracy) as a talent scout. Marc Shaiman, who wrote all of the music for the Broadway show and the movie also pops up as one of the talent scouts. Lastly, Jerry Stiller as Mr. Pinky the owner of the Hefty Hideaway was semi-entertaining, but very random. I truly do not see what everyone is raving about. Every person who has seen this film loves it and the critics love it as well. I just don’t understand. Maybe I cannot separate the Broadway show from the Movie, but I still don’t understand the fuss.

Is Rory Gilmore Transfering to WCSU?

Today I walked onto what I thought was the WCSU midtown campus. I, apparently, was wrong. As I looked around signs told me otherwise. Signs that used to read “WCSU – Western Connecticut State University” now read “RISD – Rhode Island School of Design”. What was the old science building had now become the RISD art building. I thought I was losing my mind. I was beginning to wonder what was in the Starbucks I had just finished drinking. I wondered if this was some elaborate dream and I was about to wake up. Then I saw her. Rory Gilmore, also known as Alexis Bledel. She was walking around the corner of a building. I was sure I had gone crazy. Then a minute later came two cameras following her. I wasn’t crazy!

Some time ago movie scouts had come to the WCSU theater department looking for locations for “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2”. After visiting they told the theater department that they would be letting them know when they were coming. That was the last I had heard about it. This was them! In the sequel Alexis’ character ( I never saw the first so I don’t know her name). Goes to art school. That art school – WCSU! Well…RISD, but when all of us WestConn folks see it, we will know. Today they were filming a dozen or so scenes on the quad, in front of the student center and in front of the “art” building. The exterior of the science building is being used as the art building but the are actually using the WCSU art classrooms for classrooms in the movie.

After class this morning I stayed and watched them filming for a little bit. I got to say hello to Alexis and she said hello back. She seemed very nice. I left and came back a little while later with my sister. She is a HUGE Gilmore Girls fan and she wanted to meet her. Unfortunately she was very busy filming so that didn’t happen. We’re going to go down there again tomorrow. The crew is there until Friday. I was excited to be on a professional movie set. I hadn’t been on one since “Mr. Deeds”. This was much better experience. Deeds had hundreds of people flocking there to watch because it was Winonna Ryder, Adam Sandler and Peter Gallagher. The only big name at this shoot is Alexis. There were a lot less people. Plus the crew was so nice. I was able to get really close to the filming area. Honestly I think they thought I was an extra so they let me go anywhere. That was fine with me. I think I may have slipped into a few of the shots as well. So I guess I’ll be going to see this movie I would never see in theaters normally, just to find myself. It was fun. SPOILER ALERT – Alexis’ character kisses a guy in front of the ‘art’ building, but doesn’t really love him. Another scene involves another guy attempting to kiss her and she pulls away and walks away harshly while he stares longingly at her. SPOILER OVER. Anyway – I’m going back tomorrow, so maybe another report tomorrow ( and if I have my way - news that I’m going on a date with Alexis Bledel, but I doubt that will happen).

I Am My Own Worst Enemy

I haven’t updated this in a while and finally got some free time so here goes…These past few weeks have been pure insanity. Fiddler has opened and closed, I’ve stopped working at Cartus, started taking a Chaucer course and opened 20th Century. That’s the short list. I’ve also done a great deal of evaluation these past couple of weeks, evaluation of my life and everything in it. I came to a startling conclusion; I am my own worst enemy. I kind of already thought that but after looking at recent things that have happened to me I have come to a full realization. I get in my own way. I am afraid of failure; it is as simple as that. So in order not to fail, I don’t try. When I do try I don’t give it one hundred percent because what would be the point? The times I have given one hundred percent have resulted in failure. I know failing is okay. Someone needs to tell my brain that.

This is one of the main reasons I cannot be an actor for a living. I can’t deal with rejection. I just don’t have the drive most actors do. After sitting in the audition room for the Broadway tour of ‘The Producers’ earlier this year I have realized I’m not one of them. I don’t NEED the job. Those people needed the job to survive. I could never live that way. There were people at that audition that had five or six others that same day. I will forever remember a quote from Felicia Finley who was starring in Wedding Singer. She said, “Opening night of Wedding Singer I had another audition earlier that day, because you just never know how long a show will last”. That really had an effect on me. I need steady work. I can’t always be on the verge of failure. I’ve realized that this is the reason I have not had one decent relationship – ever. I’m afraid to go after the girl. When I finally get up the nerve, she’s either with someone else or gone for good. I’m afraid because most of the time I become such good friends with the girl that I fear losing that friendship. I just don’t know. This is something I just have to get over and soon, if I ever want to be successful in life.

The Most Ignorant Woman in America

Let me preface this entry by stating that I disagree with her politics but that is not why I dislike her.

Ann Coulter, right wing nutcase, is at it again. On Monday she appeared on Hardball with Chris Matthews and was confronted by Presidential candidate John Edwards’ wife, Elizabeth, regarding the many hateful remarks she has made against John in the past few years. Elizabeth wanted answers. There was no real reason for these hurtful remarks and Edwards wanted to know why her husband was a target. Over the past few years she has said things like “John Edwards has a bumper sticker that reads ‘ask me about my dead son”, in reference to the son Mr.& Mrs. Edwards lost and Coulter’s thought that they were exploiting his death. During Elizabeth Edwards’ comments about the hateful comments made towards her dead son all Ann could do was laugh. More recently she told Good Morning America that she wished John Edwards died in a terrorist attack. I would like to officially award her the most ignorant person in America award for her unprovoked and offensive comments. I really don’t think she realizes what comes out of her mouth. She claims its being a ‘conservative’, there is only so far that ‘conservative’ excuse can cover you. There is a point where one becomes just downright a terrible human being. Coulter has officially crossed that line.

It’s not even just Edwards. Coulter has been spewing hate and ignorance for years. She lambasted 9/11 widows by saying, “These self-obsessed women seemed genuinely unaware that 9/11 was an attack on our nation and acted as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them... I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much”. Coulter obviously does not care for America as much as she claims. I understand supporting one’s nation, but in my book, family comes first. These widows were not ‘enjoying their husband’s death’. No one enjoys the death of a loved one. I really don’t think Coulter understands how ignorant she actually is because the comments continue to pour out. She is adamantly anti-homosexual and repeatedly attacks that group of people and well as using the gay slur beginning with ‘F’ to refer to anyone and everyone that doesn’t agree with her. She has even attacked disabled Vietnam veterans by saying to one of them live on TV, “People like you caused us to lose that war”. First of all people like the Vietnam veteran should be celebrated for their service, not attacked by ignorance. People like Coulter should have been given a gun and dropped into Vietnam. I bet you she couldn’t have “won” the war for us. In reference to the Columbine shootings she said, “If those kids had been carrying guns they would have gunned down this one [child] gunman. ... Don't pray. Learn to use guns”. If every child carried a gun, America would be in a worse state than it already it. I’m not implying that praying is the answer, but it is far better than turning our children into a militia.

She and others like her have set America back with her hatred of anything unlike themselves. She is even anti-women. I truly don’t understand how a woman can be anti-woman. She was quoted in 2003 as saying, “It would be a much better country if women did not vote”. She feels that the reason Republicans lose so often is because Women tend to vote democratic. News flash Coulter - Republicans lose elections so often because they don’t know how to run a country properly, not because women can vote. She has also gone on to say that women should not be allowed in the military because “women are too vicious”. What? That doesn’t even make any sense! She has even bitten the hand that feeds her in her attacks on the media. Media is what has created her. She would not be selling half as many books if she were not a clear and present force in the media. I could go on and on about different groups Coulter has attacked but I won’t, it would take too long. I am all for free speech, free speech for those who can support what they are saying, not spew hatred without remorse. Ann Coulter is officially the most ignorant person in America.

What's in a name?

Attention New Zealand government officials: Pat and Sheena Wheaton should not be aloud to have children ever again. The reason for this is because of the current legal situation they are in. They are fighting the government of New Zealand for the right to name their newborn baby “4real”, no, I did not mistype. The couple wants to name their baby 4real Wheaton. The New Zealand government has stepped in and told them that they cannot name their baby 4real citing that numerals are not allowed in names. They are attempting to overturn this decision, but for now have registered the baby’s name as “Real”. I guess they will just add the 4 in later.

This raises a few different issues. One, why they would want to name their baby 4real in the first place? Their answer? "For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name," Pat Wheaton told a local New Zealand television station on Wednesday. "With this name, everyone knows what it means." Yes, everyone does know what it means – it means you are horrible parents. If having horrible parents aren’t enough for this kid he will always have this ridiculous name.
The government of New Zealand has specific rules addressing the registration of names; their rules are designed to thwart any names that are “likely to cause offense to a reasonable person”. Officials have stated that names they have rejected have included Satan and Adolf Hitler. What person in their reasonable mind would name their child Adolf Hitler? Or Satan? I can understand the Satan one to a degree, there may have just been a typo at the registrar’s office on a baby soon to be named Stan. I just don’t get why parents feel the need to scar their children from birth by giving them a terrible name. If your last name is Simpson, don’t name your kid O.J., it’s as simple as that. Don’t try to be creative or unusual, it will backfire on you. Look at Frank Zappa. He named his daughter Moon Unit – MOON UNIT! Give you kids a normal name. Like, Steve or Rachel. Don’t name them after fruits (hear that Gwenyth Paltrow?). Apple isn’t a good name for anything – except an apple. Note to Tom Cruise be prepared to explain to your daughter Suri why she’s is getting “with a fringe on the top” jokes thrown at her the rest of her life. Don’t name your kid an occupation. I know this is hard to believe, but people do it. Actor Jason Lee named his son Pilot Inspektor. Right there you’ve disobeyed that rule twice, using pilot and inspector. I know by changing the “C” to a “K” you figured you could throw people off to this fact, but no, we’re too smart.

So Please, New Zealand continue to bar crazy names for being registered, for the sake of us all. As a matter of fact, I have a suggestion. When a parent comes in to register their child with a crazy name, those parents should have their name temporarily changed to that for a period of one month and see how they like it. That was we would have far less Moon Units and more William and Marys (not the college, the proper names).

I'm Still Here...

I fully understand that I have an old soul. I am convinced I should have been born in the 50’s. The sixties and the seventies should have been the decade I grew up in. That having been said I was born in the eighties. Everywhere I go lately has made me feel like I’m sixty. Let me explain. First, the mall. The Danbury Fair Mall is going through a massive overhaul and renovation which, when complete, is supposed to make the mall more “upscale”. I don’t disagree that the mall needs serious renovation. Its what is slowly creeping into the mall that makes me feel old. They are slowly filling the mall with “hip” stores (just using the word hip has made me old) to appeal to the younger generation of consumers. On such store is Hollister. I didn’t know what a “Hollister” was. Basically it is Abercrombie and Fitch for surfers. I walked into the store the other day with my sister so she could spend a gift certificate she had received. The first “old” moment I had was saying out loud “wow, this music is REALLY loud” referring to the grunge or punk music blasting over the loudspeaker. It was very intense. So intense that when she went to the register to purchase a shirt we could not hear the employee and she had to repeat what she said a couple of times. I understand that complaining about loud music makes me old and I’m fine with that, but when the music discourages customers from coming there ever again, I think there is a problem.

My second old person moment in Hollister occurred when we first got to the store. As we walked in there was a girl standing at the door, who I assumed worked there ( I wasn’t sure because by the way she was dressed she blended into everyone in the store) who said to me in an almost comical valley girl accent “check out our shorts, they’re great”. I’m sorry, but if I’m going into a store I do not want to be told what to look at. Please don’t have employees tell me what I should look at. I do not wear shorts ever. Never have and never will. So Hollister’s employee has just wasted her time. Is that what Hollister is paying employees for, wasted time? If so, someone needs to inform corporate.

My last old person complain about Hollister is the lighting. It is VERY dark in there. The lights are down very low which in turn caused me to bump into someone while in an aisle. I completely understand why Hollister does this. The clothes they sell are so ugly that if you saw them under the light you may not buy them. This might explain their no return policy (they actually do accept returns).

Another recent incident that has made me feel really old involves reminiscing. At rehearsal last night I was surrounded by a group of people of various ages. Most of them younger than me. I don’t remember the context, but I made a reference to the push me-pull you (a fictional animal from the Rex Harrison version of Doctor Dolittle). Not many people understood the reference, which was okay. My old moment came after I was asked what that was a reference to. I said “Doctor Dolittle” and one of the guys that was younger than me said “I don’t remember that, Eddie Murphy was hilarious though”. Right then I knew I had officially become old. He was correct in that there is no push me-pull you in the three Eddie Murphy remakes of the film. The animal appeared in the 1967 musical version starring Rex Harrison. I could not believe what I was hearing. The Eddie Murphy “Dr. Dolittle” is all he knew. I had to explain to him that those were not the first versions of Dr. Dolittle.
You begin to feel very old when you know the origins of something purely because you either grew up with it or it happened in your lifetime. Can you even imagine our grandchildren asking us about Britney Spears fifty years from now? *disclaimer*I don’t enjoy her music or her lifestyle*disclamer* She is our generation’s Ella Fitzgerald. Justin Timberlake will be remembered in the same vein as Frank Sinatra. How weird is this – if people now listen to rap music. That means that fifty years from now old people will listen to rap music. People listen to music of their generation. Remember how your grandparents listened to big band music or the rat pack because that’s what they grew up with? Fifty years from now grandparents will listen to Eminem and Fifty Cent. Looking at it that way and putting it into context of today when I’m old (since I currently listen to music from the 60’s and 70’s) my music would be like, today listening to music from the civil war era. I’m going to be the least hip grandpa ever.

Notes on a weekend...

So I don’t really have anything to rant about today so I’m just going to make some quick notes about my weekend.

Friday – My weekend started out great because I got out early from work. I got out early because I was going to my sister’s high school graduation. She was graduating from the same high school as I did. It was very surreal being at DHS in a graduation atmosphere. That hasn’t happened since 2002 when I, myself, graduated. Its was like a weird acid trip or something . I kept thinking I would see old friends from high school when, in fact, I recognized barely anyone. Even the teachers were, for the most part, different. It was also weird to see my sister’s best friend up at the podium giving the same speech I gave at my graduation ceremony. No the same as in the words were the same but in the same situation. A theater kid, chosen out of many applicants, to address the entire graduation ceremony. While the ceremony was not filled with friends from high school I did see a bunch of my classmates. It’s funny, because they were there for the same reason as I. They also had siblings graduating. Overall it was a great time. We went to the Olive garden afterwards.

Saturday – I took my dad out for lunch for Father’s day ( I do know it was Sunday but when we get there, you’ll see why I took him out today). After lunch I went to The Relay Bookhouse in Bethel to pick up a book I had ordered. I ordered a children’s book entitled Persephone: Bringer of Spring. You are probably wondering why I bought a children’s book on Greek mythology. I bought it because it was written by my great aunt. She recently passed away and she was an incredible person. In searching fro her obituary on the internet I came across the fact that she wrote a book. She never really told us about the book, she kept it to herself. In 1971 she wrote a children’s book which retold the Greek myth of Persephone. Her best friend did the illustrations and it was dedicated to their daughters. It went out of print many years ago I came to find out. I was able to track a copy down ( with the help of The Relay Bookhouse) that was sitting in a warehouse in Maryland. The copy was from a Library in Missouri. It is a very beautifully written and illustrated book and I am proud to call her my aunt. After picking the book up I went off to rehearsal for ‘Fiddler’ and then hung out with a friend after rehearsal.

Sunday- I had rehearsal the ENTIRE day. It was our tech rehearsal for ‘Fiddler’ because we are opening on Thursday night. We spent almost ten hours in rehearsal. It was worth it. The show is going to be great (most of the numbers, at least. The jury is still out about L’chaim). It was just a great day overall. As frustrated as I get some tech weekends it’s also when I realize one of the major reasons I do theater, working with friends. The fun we have at rehearsals and the time we spend together outweighs any bad that comes out of tech weekend. ‘Fiddler’ had really gained me new friends who I hope will be in my life forever. I always make friends while in a show and we always say we’ll keep in touch, but we rarely do. We all get so busy, either with shows or other distractions. There is always that one person from a show that I make a point not to lose contact with and I think I’ve found that person. Its just nice to know that there are crazy people just like you that love theater just as much as you do. That’s why I do theater.

Silly Rabbit....

I logged onto Yahoo this morning and what headline do I see but, “Cereal Makers Add Nutrition, Lose ‘Toons”. I was shocked and appalled to read the article. The article outlined Kellogg’s new agreement to raise the nutritional value of cereal and stop marketing it to children after threats of lawsuits from child advocacy groups. These advocacy groups are concerned that the Kellogg Corporation is contributing heavily to childhood obesity. I would like to point out to these adults that form the child advocacy groups that THEY are the ones contributing to childhood obesity, not cereal companies. Cereal companies are doing what they have always set out to do, make money. They don’t set out to make kids fat. The only way these children are obtaining this cereal which is supposedly making them fat is through parents. Parents are purchasing these cereal products voluntarily for there children. There are no children forcing adults to purchase cereal for them. If there are, then those parents have a whole other set of problems. Children are not choosing to buy these cereals, they are merely asking for the cereal. There is a little word they can use in order to stop the children from getting the cereal, it’s called “no”.

The agreement allows cereal companies to market to people 12 and older. As we all know once you hit 12 all your obesity problems go away. This agreement is ludicrous (the adjective, not the rapper). Michael Jacobson, director of the center for science in the public interest says of the agreement, "This commitment means that parents will find it a little easier to steer their children toward healthy food choices — especially if other food manufacturers and broadcasters follow Kellogg's lead." This agreement will make it “easier for parents to steer their children toward healthy food choices”? Who are the lazy ones? If parents have a hard time steering their children to healthy food, who’s fault is that? Certainly not the cereal company’s.

In addition to making cereal more nutritious Kellog is also forced to change its advertising campaigns. One of the most disturbing caveats to this agreement is that Kellogg must no longer use licensed characters in their advertising or on their boxes. At first I didn’t fully understand this. The way it was worded it sounded like Tony the Tiger was being fired. I soon came to learn that Tony still has his job; it is Shrek and Donald Duck who are out of luck. Kellogg is only allowed to use characters that they own. They may no longer use movie characters or anything else of that matter. They also may not uses licensed toys. Children can no longer expect a tiny Frisbee in their cereal, but can look forward to Kellogg’s frasbees. At the end of the article there is a note: “(This version corrects the spelling of Froot Loops)” Who in America doesn’t know how to spell Froot Loops?

Attention parents: you are making you children fat, stop blaming the cereal company. There is a little thing called “restraint” which you should employ when in the grocery store. Instead of buying the donuts that your child wants for breakfast, buy them fruit. Don’t blame Toucan Sam for your child’s obesity.

Tony vs. Tony

Ever since Sunday night everyone has been enthralled with Tony. For most of the world that Tony is Tony Soprano. The world is upset over the fact that their television dared them to think. How dare HBO? People like there stories all wrapped up and spoon fed to them. They want to see that Jerry and his friends went to Jail on Seinfeld or that everyone left Korea and went home on MASH. They do not want existential thought provoking entertainment. This is clearly seen by the American culture as it is today. If the public did want thought provoking and exciting entertainment then Sunday night the other Tony ( Antionette Perry) would have drawn in television viewers. So when David Chase decided to let the audience interpret the ending of ‘The Sopranos’ by cutting to black in the middle of a dinner scene, America retaliated. Some people enjoyed the fact that we would never know the fate of Tony Soprano.

Most viewers were up in arms about the ending. Some were quoted as saying that they had wasted ten years of their life. Others thought their cable went out. The finale has been psycho analyzed over and over again for possible ending and it has brought out two possibilities. One, Tony (and possibly his entire family) gets killed. This theory had been fueled by a past episode in which Tony is discussing death and mentions that when you die everything goes to black. The other theory is that Tony Continues to enjoy his dinner at the diner with his family and that nothing happens. I don’t know what happened, nor do I care. I was focused on the other Tony. The Tony in which ‘Sopranos’ viewers would never watch for fear they would have to think to hard about plot. For those ‘Sopranos’ viewers I recommend any Mamet Play to feed their appetite for cursing and the ‘Lieutenant of Inishmore’ for violence. Other than that the theater is not for them. I did not watch the Sopranos finale. I have watched the “news” though and from the amount of coverage feel that I have watched it.

I was, on the other hand, at the Tony awards Sunday night. I returned again this year as a seat filler. I was lucky and got a seat in the third row and never left the entire night. It was beyond amazing. The people I encountered and the things I saw renewed my faith in the American Theater. When Ben Vereen and Bebe Neuwirth are dancing together in the aisle about three feet away from you, you watch. I’m glad the writing on this years award show was poor because I don’t think I could have dealt with listening to Harvey Firestein’s laugh two rows behind me the entire night. It was entertaining once, that’s it. John Gallgher from the Tony winning Spring Awakening could not have been nicer, neither could Felicity Huffman. The musical numbers were amazing and the night as a whole was a dream. I really felt like it wasn’t happening that this was an elaborate dream or at some point Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out and tell me that I had just been punk’d. During commercial breaks I would stand up and just gaze out into the auditorium and the sea of legends. There’s Tommy Tune sitting near Barbara Cook who is seated close to Patti Lupone who is an aisle over from Kevin Spacey and Angela Lansbury. The crown jewels were Celeste Holm and John Kander. Holm was celebrating her 90th birthday, while Kander was being honored for his work on Curtains, minus his partner, the late Fred Ebb. The night was amazing. In this world of short attention spans, where endings like ‘The Sopranos’ anger the American public, it is still nice to see that the theater still has a place in society and a nine hour Tom Stoppard play can win best play without people complaining about how long it is.

Its the little things...

I have become abundantly more aware of how I look at people and animals the past few days. Why, you might ask? (I hope you do, otherwise this post is useless). A woman in Vermont was arrested on harassment charges for apparently making distracting and inappropriate faces at a government employee. So that doesn’t sound too absurd, right? Well that government employee that she was harassing was, in fact, a police dog. Yes, a police dog. In case you haven’t put two and two together – a woman in Vermont was arrested for making faces at a police dog. What has the world come to? That is probably the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. If making faces at animals is a crime, I know about a couple dozen third graders that need to be in prison. The policeman who was handling the dog claimed that these faces that this woman made distracted the dog to the point of not paying attention to him and his fellow officers. If distracting the dog from his work is the problem then the state of Vermont should arrest all of the cats and squirrels as well. Good news for the woman though, the case has been dropped against her. The state district attorney said of the case, “Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can't do that”. That’s disappointing. I was highly looking forward to the dog’s testimony, it may have gone something like this:

Lawyer: On the night you were harassed, how were the winds blowing?
Dog: Ruff
Lawyer: How is it working as a police dog?
Dog: Ruff
Lawyer: In what manner did she look at you?
Dog: Ruff
Lawyer: No further questions.

Of course the charges were dropped. This entire case was absurd. Then again, I’m going to more careful the next time I feel the urge to make harassing faces at an animal.

Looks Presidential?

So the 2008 race to the white house has begun. I’m not big on politics, but I do care who is ruining our country. I watch different candidates and get their views on different things. I entertain all points of view. I really feel that in order to be an informed voter you cannot only listen to one side of an argument. Actually to be informed, period, you cannot only look at one side of an issue. I find that the news media isn’t a help in this task. They feed to the general public what they want to hear *cough*foxnews*cough. One thing that has been bothering me lately as I flip through the channels and pick up newspapers is the media coverage of one of the top republican candidates. Mitt Romney, of Massachusetts has been the focus of a great deal of talk throughout the media. Is it because of his positions on the war? No. Is it because of the way he governed MA? No. Is it because of his religious beliefs? Somewhat, but that not what I’m writing about. I’m writing about what is being referred to in the media as the “presidential look”. This morning on the today show Matt Lauer referred to Romney as “looking like a president”. Other media outlets have joined this bandwagon. One said that his “presidential looks” are what is putting him ahead in the polls of the republican candidates. One outlet said that people like him because he “looks like a president”. These statements baffle me. What is the “look of a president”? There isn’t one. Our presidents could not be more different in looks. The one thing they have in common is that they are all older white men, that is it. All of them physically look different. Clinton, for example looked nothing like Lincoln and FDR looked nothing like George Washington. Presidents were tall ( Lincoln was 6’4”, which was very unusually tall for his time) and presidents were short (James Madison was 5’4”, the shortest of all presidents). Seven of our presidents were left handed, most were right handed. Five of our presidents have had beards, the rest have not. Many of our presidents wore glasses. One was in a wheelchair, unable to walk. Almost all of the first ten presidents wore wigs. The wig fad quickly faded. Presidents over the years could not have looked more different. Some had brown hair some had black hair and some had white hair. Except for the first ten presidents, that hair was real. So it bothers me when the media refers to Romney as “looking like a president”. What is the media inferring? Are they seriously trying to group the presidents as all looking the same? They were far from all looking the same. Thinking about this label, I realize that maybe the media is trying to subconsciously make us vote for Romney. The public will hear “looks presidential” and settle. Are we supposed to respond, “Well since he looks like a president, obviously he if qualified”. We are not that stupid. I don’t mean to attack Romney with this in any way. I’m sure he is a nice guy and is very qualified to be president, but to me he does not look like a president. Looking like a president would infer that he wore a wig of different colors, was both left and right handed, was both tall and short, wore glasses sometimes, had a mustache ( to appease the beard voters) and on every other Thursday rode in a wheelchair. Romney, nor any other candidate, could possibly fill all of the physical characteristics associated with the American president. There is no way anyone could “look like a president”.

Phone rings, door chimes...

Here is my first officaly post on the new blog thanks to Kelly:

This past weekend I went and saw the revival of the Stephen Sondheim musical 'Company' for the third time ( I know, I have a problem). I've come to realize that I am the central character. I am Bobby. Alright, so I'm not thirty five. I am single while every one of my friends is in a relationship, like Bobby. I date but never make any real connections, like Bobby. Everything about the character is me. He is insecure and looking for someone. The show is so reflective of my life it is scary. the dialogue is so profuound and eerily close to my own life that if the show ere not written thirty years ago i would assume Sondheim was following me around. all of the couples match perfectly to couples I know down to their words. The show is filled with so many quotes that i live my life by. One of Bobby's girlfriends says to Bobby at one point refering to central park "I'm like this park here, out of place". This is Bobby's view of himself as well as mine. Bobby doesn't really know where he is going or where he has been in regards to the relationships around him. He just knows something doesn't feel right about his relationships with other people. Bobby comes to the realization at the end of the musical that what is he looking for is someone to be there. The character of Joanne remarks to Bobby "I'll take care of you, kiddo" to which he responds "But who will I take care of?". He then sings one of the greatest songs ever written in musical theater history, "Being Alive". All Bobby wants is someone to take care of, someone who will take care of him. Someone to share his life with. As he sings, "Someone to hold me to close, someone to hurt me to deep, someone to sit in my chair and ruin my sleep...". Bobby just needs someone to be there. He needs to know he is not alone. Being alone is the worst thing that can happen in Bobby's mind. He is not a full person alone. He sings, "...alone is alone, not alive..." This post isn't some cry for help from me. It is just my observation that I am Bobby.

Another import from my old blog...

Scenes from a mall...
I'm in the mall tonight trying on shoes when I hear a man arguing with the cashier over his purchase. Arguements are nothing new to reatil, I know, I've been there. This was an odd one though. The man wanted to purchase one cowboy boot. Not one pair, just one single boot. He also wanted to pay half the price since he was buying just one. This wasn't a joke, he was serious. The cashier kindly explained to him he cannot purchase just one he must buy them both. He could not comprehend it. This brings up interesting questions. First, why did the man want just one boot? Here are two possible reasons i've come up with - either he is buying a birthday gift for a one legged cowboy or he is making a western themed centerpiece for his table. Thinking about those reasons I wonder why a one legged cowboy would even need boots. He most likely would not be riding a horse, which the boots are ideally made for, not fashion. If he does plan on riding a horse, how would he get up onto the horse with only one leg? Then there is the other reason, making a western themed center piece. Why just one boot? Couldn't he just give in and make two centerpieces? He could give one as a gift. He could kill two birds with one stone and give the one legged cowboy both a nice boot and a nice centerpiece. In the end he bought them both. I don't know what he expected. What would the store do with only one boot? Luckily we'll never know.

Getting Started

So I started a blog about a year ago and it seems blogger has changed over to a new system forcing me to change my blog so here is the first blog from my old blog:

Getting started
I've decided to jump on the blog bandwagon, or as I like to call it the blogwagon. This is my first entry in what hopefully with be an entertaining blog ( for those who read it) and a theraputic blog (for those who write in it, meaning me). As much as possible I will update it with commentary on life and its everyday frustrations as well as humorous observations. They may or may not be funny to you, but above all they'll be funny to me ( thats all thats important). If you find yourself mentioned in this blog, I apologize in advance for anything that will hurt anyones feelings. I am not setting out to do that but one can never make everyone happy. Hope you return to read the daily ( hopefully) entries. Thats all for now!